Saturday, 30 March 2013

RAPPER SUFFERS CASE OF MIS-DRAKEN IDENTITY

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: 
In future, when using the name "Drake" 
while tweeting, please refer to the above person as 
THE ONE AND ONLY Drake to avoid confusion.
 Photo/CreStock




In today's Celebrity Etiquette lessons, Rosie O'Donnell shows us how to take a situation from mildly embarrassing to downright humiliating. Don't be discouraged, it's surprisingly easy. All it requires is a lack of forethought and no idea of when to just stop talking.
In today's lesson, rap superstar Drake's ego is unwittingly enlisted to help out by getting a public shit-kicking. So here we go:
  • Rosie O'Donnell is watching actor Drake Bell on the reality show Splash and tweets: "Drake is cute ... nice muscles!" (Wonders to self: "Am I sure I'm gay?")
  • Which prompts our own Drake to understandably assume Rosie is referring to him. (Wonders to self: "Is there any other Drake?") He tweets, "Life goal #6 (number six) accomplished. The fact that Rosie O'Donnell knows who I am is probably best feeling ever..."
  • Which is where this should have ended. Even though Rosie was in fact referring to someone else. 
  • Instead, she tweets:  "DRAKE FROM JOSH N DRAKE ON NICKELODEON !!!! NOT THE SINGER - THE GUY ON THE DIVING SHOW!!!"
  • Not content to stop here, she continues to overtweet, adding:  "but - I do think the rapper/singer drake is a QTpa2T (cutie patootie) - also with nice muscles... Of course I know u - u r very talented and quite cute." 
But of course it's too late, because Drake is now curled up in the fetal position, sobbing, while his assistant pets his head and murmurs, "There there, it doesn't matter anyway, she's Lebanese!" (Wonders to self: "Or is it Armenian?")

Editor wonders to self: What were Drake's life goals #1 through #5?

Related: Chris Brown takes cheap shot at Drake in song lyrics. (Well this is a surprise...)