Friday, 8 March 2013

RIHANNA WANTS TO HAVE A BABY WITH ... WAIT. REALLY?

FUTURE MOTHER OF THE YEAR 
 RiRi practises her morning-sickness coping skills. 
(She took to this one like a duck to water!)
Rihanna as seen in Rolling Stone 
 
As repeatedly stated by Rihanna, Chris Brown is all better now. In fact his violent temper has healed up so nicely she feels it is now safe to expose her uterus to him.

That’s right, Rihanna, who must have smoked a gagger the size of a Denali before this interview, tells Elle UK she wants to have a baby with Chris. Which is totally amazeballs, isn't it? This is exactly what this blessed union needs: a shrieking, wailing, pooping infant that demands every waking second of its mother's attention, because violent psychopaths LOVE it when that happens! This is going to be so great!

Especially now that Chris doesn't flip out anymore. 

I mean there was that one incident two days ago when he exploded on a parking valet at a bowling alley, but let's face it, that dude was asking for it. Trying to extort Chris Brown for an exorbitant $10 parking fee. Please. Celebrities are hurting just like the rest of us! Chris went ballistic on the guy, cursing, screaming, refusing to hand over the "funky ass ten dollars" and threatening to unleash his breezy fists of fury. But other than that one incident, Chris is fine. He's fine! 

In fact, the only problem I can foresee here is that Rihanna is going to have to part with her virginity. That is going to be very difficult for her, I think.

Editor's note: I'm sure Chris will be an outstanding sperm donor. Just . . . maybe don't let him take the kid bowling. Cuz that seems to be a trigger.