|TAYLOR SWIFT reportedly |
hooked up with wee Eddie Sheeran
in her hotel room. My brain refuses
to process this information.
First of all, Brit songwriter Ed Sheeran isn’t new, at least not to Taylor. They were pretend-linked before, but only because he had a crush on her and tattooed her album on his arm, which was supposed to be romantic but was just creepy.
But I digress…
REASONS TAYLOR SWIFT COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE DATING ED SHEERAN
|She totally wants me|
2) He’s a ginger-boy. Nobody likes a ginger-boy. (Unless he’s a royal ginger-boy)
3) He’s shorter than she is
4) His eyes look in opposite directions. So creepy. “Hey are you staring at that chick?” "Yes, but it’s okay, babe, because my other eye is totally fixed on YOU!"
5) He has "friend zone" written all over him