Thursday, 18 April 2013

BEYONCE WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW SHE HAS NIPPLES

Beyonce, Mrs. Carter, Whorrified
BEYONCE WHIPS THE CROATIAN CROWD TO A FRENZY
 with a demure little see-through number made of lace. Oh, and nipple buttons. Of course.



You know how some women have a baby and go a little crazy? A bit wild? A bit ... slutty? You don't? Well bugger off, Miss Perfect, it happens to some of us, okay, and we don't even know why because we were always such a good girl! (Editor's note: It's ok, I know how to handle this. Let's just give her a moment. *drums fingers, checks watch* Crying, crying, snuffling ... a-a-a-a-and she's back.)

Ahem, so anyway, I wouldn't have thought Beyonce would be the type to go all madonna-whore on us, but my God, woman. Since you've had that baby and launched your world tour it's been nothing but nipple bodysuits, nipple buttons, nipples this, nipples that! What next? Are you gonna put a (nipple) ring on it?

EDITOR'S NOTE: How is this a problem? 

Related: An earnest disciple who really does his research sent me this link to an extremely tasteful line of clothing one could wear anywhere that breasts-on-the-outside-of-your-clothing are allowed. (A special place awaits you in heaven, my son.) Click here to see nothing but nipples, nipples and more nipples. Ah-ah! Not you, Beyonce.