Thursday, 25 April 2013

DRAKE IS SO OVER THAT FLING NOBODY REMEMBERS

RIHANNA MUGS WITH CHRIS BROWN  
Note that Drake is nowhere to be seen in this picture. Which is fine, because he wouldn't want to be there anyway. Because he's over her.

Whatever you do, do NOT ever ask Drake about Rihanna, okay? Because he's over her. He doesn't care about her anymore. He can hardly even remember her name, let alone the name of that flaming piece of useless shoe dirt Chris Brown. *ptooey!!! ptooey!!!*  

Which is why he takes pains to explain how over it he is whenever the opportunity arises, whether you ask him or not.
Such as during a recent radio interview when, while taking swipes at Chris Brown, the Canadian rap superstar noted: "His insecurities are the fact that I make better music than him, that I'm more poppin' than him and that at one point in life, the woman he loves fell into my lap."

You may remember that Drake briefly dated Rihanna during that awkward phase when she still wanted Chris Brown but he was forbidden by law to be within 500 yards of her in case the crazy came over him again. The second that bit of legal barbed wire was removed, they were back on each other like rabid weasels. 
And Drake? Buh-bye. Thanks for playing our little game. Your services are no longer required. 

Which Drake is totally fine with, even though he says that during his time with Rihanna, "I did what a real (expletive) would do and treated her with respect."
Well that's obviously where you went wrong, then, isn't it, my boy?

Editor's note: Breaking Rihanna news. The persistent rumour that she is pregnant has apparently been officially shot down.
Drake's note: Is it my baby? It could be my baby!
Editor's note: There is no baby.
Drake's note: But ...  
Editor's note: No.
Drake's note: Good. Because I am OVER it!