Tuesday, 2 April 2013

MEATY JON HAMM HAS HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE

ROLLING STONE, APRIL 2013 EDITION 
JON'S HAMM DOESN'T THINK YOU GRASP
the weightiness of this situation. You know: the
overendowment situation. Wienergate. The elephant
 in the room. God, I can't stop myself ...




Jon Hamm has a large problem. Huge. Way larger than normal. It's ... well, it's his "weewee." Which is so the opposite of "wee" that it's getting a ridiculous amount of attention, the attention is totally going to its head and it can barely fit into the same room as Jon Hamm. He's afraid to even look at it anymore because last time he checked, he could swear it was growing arms and legs. 

Oh you think I'm kidding? Jon Hamm's Wang has its own Tumblr site, where pics of JH's W seen in sharp relief against his trousers tell the story he doesn't want anyone to know.
Hamm tells this month's edition of Rolling Stone he's tired of people cracking jokes about his penis. 

"They're called 'privates' for a reason," he says. "I'm wearing pants, for fuck's sake. Lay off. I mean, it's not like I'm a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn't part of the deal."
So you can almost feel sorry for the guy. Except that if he really wants us to stop noticing his love weasel, he should start wearing underwear. And maybe change his last name.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I find all of this wienie talk extremely prurient and unseemly. Bigger is not always better, people! 
MY NOTE: Uh-oh ...