Thursday, 11 April 2013

MIRANDA KERR FIRED BECAUSE SHE'S UGLY, OBVIOUSLY

Miranda Kerr, Victoria's Secret, Whorrified,
WELL I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS
 why this pug-face was canned, don't you? 
Look away! Look away, before she
turns you to stone!
 Photo/CreStock


Miranda Kerr has been fired from her demanding job as a Victoria’s Secret model because . . . well I’m not sure why.

I mean she’s young and leggy and slender and she has breasts which she is only to happy to share with the world at every viewing opportunity, just look at her sexiest woman alive shoot, for God’s sake. Or this photo shoot with Terry Richardson, who somehow managed to make her ass look flat so maybe he's the one who should be fired. 

Really, I don’t know what it could possibly be. Did she fail the rigourous yearly IQ testing? I hear they’re very particular about that at Victoria’s Secret. 
“Can you spell brassiere?” 
"No."
“K. Here, put on these tassles and start walkin.’ "

The official word is that Kerr is “difficult to work with.” So I’m assuming she puts her bras on backwards and occasionally says things like, “This is degrading!” or “Why the hell is Justin Bieber here again?”
Although really, anyone with half a brain can be a lingerie model figure out what's really going on here. This girl is hideous! She's a hag! Why, the poor thing is practically unemployable. I can't imagine what her future holds. I ... nope. Sorry. Can't go on. Going to cry. 

EDITOR'S NOTE: This tragedy bores me. I'm going back to what I was doing before you posted this.
MY NOTE: That being?
EDITOR'S NOTE: Googling pictures of hot Victoria's Secret supermodels. Here, care to join me? Oh lord. She winked at me. SHE WINKED AT ME!