Wednesday, 24 April 2013

SOFIA VERGARA IS TIRED OF LOOKING DRAB AND DROOPY

THE TWEET THAT ROARED
Sofia Vergara tweeted this pic after a 
wardrobe malfunction at the Emmy Awards. 
And I'm no expert, but this does not look like 
a butt that is in need of shapewear.

Now here's an idea that I'm surprised, make that appalled, no one thought of sooner. I mean obviously I know some people were thinking it in their special private time, but no one acted on it.
Until now.

What I'm getting at is that Colombian bombshell Sofia Vergara has launched a line of "sexy" shapewear that ...
Editor: SOLD!
Me: No, wait, I haven't even...
Editor: I'll buy it! I'm buying it!
Me: But ... you're a guy.
Editor: Okay the catalogue then. I want it! Gimme gimme gimme! I need. I need!
Me: *motioning furtively* Security! Give him his shot, please.
Editor: Wait, I'll be good ... just let me see the ... YEEEOWCH!! *snorezzzz*

Ah, that's better.  Now where were we? Ah yes. Shapewear.  
Page Six reports that the adorable Modern Bosoms actress says she herself resorts to shapewear on special occasions (which is probably complete hooey, but whatever), so this was a logical business venture.
The line is priced from $14.99 to $23.99 and hits the market in June. Each of the undergarments features a built-in bra (of course), and has been Vergara-tested and approved during business sessions at which Sofia tried on all of the product herself. I will allow you all a moment to process that visual. 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Haha! I was wide awake the whole time! You forgot to itemize the line in loving detail: toning bodysuits, camis, tanks, bustiers, waist-shaping briefs and boyshorts, thigh slimmers and half and full-slips.
MY NOTE: Security? I'll have one of those shots myself now, please. 

Related: Here's the link to the time Sofia had that epic wardrobe malfunction. For those who find one soft-core porn-ish Sofia Vergara photo just isn't enough.