|"I'M SORRY, I'M TAN. I LIKE TO BE TAN."|
Other things Tanning Mom might enjoy:
Being hit by a truck.
Falling off a cliff into a vat of hot tar.
Being jabbed with a pointed stick.
Just look at Patricia Krentcil (if you can bear it), the tanorexic New Jersey woman who was investigated for child endangerment last year after allegedly bringing her red-headed preschooler into a tanning bed with her.
That incident turned Krentcil into Tanning Mom, an international freak show and a lightning rod for ridicule. (Tanning Mom: "You can get a damn nice tan offa lightning!")
The outcry was so explosive even Tanning Mom eventually realized people are not supposed to roast themselves or their children alive, and has since been completely rehabilitated. She no longer overtans and has become a much more sensible woman in every way, taking pains to be the best role model she can be for her little ginger.
As evidence, I present this gallery of TMZ photos of Tanning Mom acting every inch the lady, on a real beach with real sun. No more tanning beds for this little leather cougar! Brace yourself, then click here.