Tuesday, 28 May 2013

BET AWARDS PROMISE TO OFFEND ON EVERY LEVEL

THE ONE AND ONLY 2 CHAINZ
 And every time I see a picture of him I have to check and make sure that he is, in fact, wearing two chains. Because it's one thing to be a sexist pig but quite another to be a charlatan.
Ah, delightful. I see the BET Awards have announced the lineup for their June 30 show, and it's going to be a real barn-burner. For starters, we have Chris Brown and R. Kelly performing (or, as my Tourette’s-afflicted imaginary twin sister calls them, Shit and Piss). 


There's also a bumper crop of nominees with catchy yet misogynistic hits, including 2 Chainz and A$AP Rocky, plus a stellar video from Tdot's own Drake, filmed in Forest Hill and featuring embarrassingly stereotypical fake snow (Garsh, boys, you fergot the igloo and the polar bear there, eh?) that deserves to win but will probably get edged out by A$AP's "F---in' Problems."  Because that sucker is catchy. I mean, even as I write this, I’m hearing it in my head. I’d sing it out loud but the lyrics would get me arrested. So, yeah. Pretty much going to be the most offensive night ever!

EDITOR'S NOTE: I am having a creepy acid flashback to the time that friend of yours played that goddam song over and over and over again, ALL FRICKIN WEEKEND.
MY NOTE: Weird. And yet all I can remember is the booze.