Tuesday, 7 May 2013

CHARLIE SHEEN'S KIDS ARE SO GOING TO HAVE ISSUES

CHARLIE SHEEN'S EX, BROOKE MUELLER
looks pretty much exactly like you'd expect, 
complete with crazy-eye and some kind of 
weird fuckery going on with her hair feathers.
Photo/CreStock

 
Charlie Sheen and one of the many exes he bred with, I think this one's name is Brooke Mueller or Hooker Mule or something like that, were in court today to further mess up their children's minds.

Apparently Brooke is some sort of out-of-control coke-snorting lunatic (obviously; how else would anyone be able to endure sex and childbearing with Charlie Sheen?) and it's so bad her boys have been taken away from her and given to Denise Richards (another ex-Mrs. Sheen).

TMZ reports that Brooke's 4-year-old twins Max and Bob were taken from her Thursday night because her home was deemed an "unsafe environment." 

And when your kids get taken away from you in Hollywood, land of the "Yes I did hit Whitney and we both banged rocks until the Bibles lit themselves on fire but you can leave our kid right here, thank you very crack" entitlements, you know things are bad. Or you're just not a big enough star to get away with it.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Those poor boys. Hey, kids, do you want to live with your tiger-blooded warlock dad or your meth-addicted mom? Kids: Can we just go panhandle on the streets of Bangkok instead? We like those chances better ...