Thursday, 2 May 2013

LET US PRAY FOR LAPSED BRA MODEL KYLIE BISUTTI

GOOD LORD! I'M SURE EVEN JESUS 
WOULD LOVE THIS GETUP 
Kylie Bisutti in her Victoria's Secret days, 
before she realized that strutting the catwalk 
in your underpants is a mortal sin.







So ex-Victoria's Secret model and devoted Christian Kylie Bisutti, whom you've never heard of because she wasn't a very famous model, is finally getting the attention she never got while modelling by quitting in a huff and then slagging the company as only a Christian can.

Among her allegations, which she put into a book that just happens to be coming out at the same time  ...  and I'm not even going to tell you the name of the book because it would offend Kylie's Christian sensibilities to be famewhored by someone by the name of Whorrified *Ack!!! My God! That lightning bolt came THIS CLOSE to her vagina!*  ...  is that Victoria's Secret pushed her to do "sinful things" and distracted her from her Bible studies.

Bisutti says she left Victoria's Secret in tears because they made her feel like "a piece of meat." 
So either she didn't get the "Textbook Definition of What a Lingerie Model Is" memo or it wasn't written in Latin so she didn't understand it.

Anyway, all Kylie wants to do now is sit at home and scrub and scrub and scrub the dirty off herself and offer her body to her husband alone. Oh, and also *makes the sign of the cross* she is designing a line of "Christian clothing for women."

EDITOR'S NOTE: Yeah that's gonna sell like hotcakes.