Tuesday, 28 May 2013


A devoted disciple who is clearly just looking for an excuse to Google butt shots of Rihanna sent me this item, wondering "how Whorrified missed this." Dude. I did not miss it. I don't miss anything, except my pre-pregnancy abs and my ex (although my aim is getting better).

I deliberately chose to ignore it, much as I'm sure Chris Brown is doing, because like Chris Brown, I have had my fill of Rihanna's ass cheeks and sideboob. 

We get it, Rihanna. You're hot. What we don't get is how you think all this compulsive tweeting is going to help. 
Girlfriend, when a man dumps you in a humiliatingly public way after beating you and cheating on you and basically announcing to the world that his heart is made of pig manure, you have two options: Give a shit, or not. 

So why Rihanna feels the need to give a shit that Chris Brown has moved back in with his second-favourite enabler Karrueche Tran, is beyond me. And please don't even bother trying to pretend this conveniently timed photo was intended for anyone but Chris and Karrueche. Who are too busy rogering each other senseless right now to even look at your stupid Twitter pics, Rihanna, so stop it, all right? Just stop it.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This reminds me of the words of my sainted mother, who always used to say: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
MY NOTE: Your mother would not want to be single in today's market, buddy. It's all about the free milk.