Goddam you, Rihanna. I really want to ignore you but you keep doing ridiculously scandalous things clearly intended to get Chris Brown's attention.
Of course that isn't working out for you at all because he's a piece of completely rancid dog turd, but man, you sure are getting the attention of the rest of us.
In her latest exploit, Rihanna visited a strip club and showered money and her own thighs all over some stupid broad I suspect we are supposed to admire. (I'm not sure when strippers went from being an object of pity and scorn to an object of "respect," but I think rappers had something do with it.)
And then, of course, she tweeted the whole thing.
Because on Planet Rihanna, if she didn't tweet it, it didn't happen.
Which leads me to this very important question: Did Rihanna ever tweet:
A) Her virginity
B) Her university degree
C) That conversation where she tells Chris Brown to kiss her multimillion-dollar ass and die
Oh! Quelle surprise. The answers here are, in no particular order: No. No! And HELL NO!