Wednesday, 15 May 2013

RIHANNA OBSERVES TRADITIONAL MOURNING RITUAL

SAD RIHANNA POSTED THIS DEMURE PIC 
to "promote her fashion line." Which is obviously 
going to give Kylie Bisutti's Christian women's
 clothing line a run for its money. 
Twitter
Rihanna is clearly in deep, deep mourning over being dumped by Chris Brown. There can be no mistaking the signs: Last night she reportedly resorted to the time-honoured mourning ceremony of partying her ass and her clothes off at a swanky nightclub and, of course, tweeting near-naked photos of herself and her sideboob whilst simultaneously carrying on a Twitter fight with Chris.

Page Six reports that Rihanna showed up at New York's Pink Elephant nightclub at the perfectly respectable hour of 2 a.m. in a black jacket. But she might as well not have bothered with the jacket. Because she hadn't been there five minutes before the liquor kicked in she "jumped on a banquette and started peeling off her jacket . . . then her shirt . . . to ultimately reveal a little red tube top.” (Whew. I wasn't sure where that sentence was going to end!)

The club's regular crowd left at the perfectly respectable hour of 4 a.m., but the club owners know money when they see it so they kept the music playing for another full hour so that Rihanna could get this burning urge to strip out of her system.

And it was totally worth it because she tipped them $500 on her $2,000 tab. (And I must admit that I myself might start stripping in public if I drank that much booze.)
No word of any further shenanigans today, but I think one can safely assume that's because she's sleeping off a $2,000 hangover.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Why doesn't stuff like that ever happen at the nightclubs I go to?
MY NOTE: Because you go to Chick 'N' Deli. Nobody's gonna strip for anybody at Chick 'N' Deli, and if they did you would beg them to stop.

Urgent mourning update: Rihanna has changed her hair. She's now "rocking long blonde hair," serious news outlets report. Click here to see this life-altering image.