Monday, 13 June 2016

WILL SMITH WHORING OUT HIS KIDS IN A LOVING WAY

WILL SMITH IS WARY OF THE EFFECTS
 OF CELEBRITY ON HIS CHILDREN
Which explains why he trots them out 
into the limelight at every single opportunity. 
(That's Jaden, left, and Willow, right, 
with Ma 'n' Pa at some child-focused event 
they no doubt begged to attend.)
Photo/Harrywad

Here's a little-known fact about concerned parent Will Smith, 44, star of MIB, Independence Day and a whole bunch of other movies that made unfathomable schmazillions of dollars: he's not comfortable with his kids being celebrities. 

Smith, whose son Jaden began co-starring with him at age 7 (!!!) in The Pursuit of Happyness and whose other two children dabble in music (you can watch a freakishly young Willow whip her hair back and forth right here), is in the midst of a globe-hopping promotional tour for After Earth, also starring Jaden. But that is not stopping him from reflecting on the scarier aspects of parentood. 
Namely, drugs. 
And by drugs, I mean money movies.

"This business has almost a narcotic quality," Smith said in an interview with Australia's IB Times. "So it's almost as if you're introducing a narcotic into your kid's life."

Not that he's letting that stop him.

In fact Will Smith is obviously a much better actor than I thought because I would NEVER have guessed that he feels this way. Indeed, to the untrained eye, it appears as though he is shoving his children of average talent under our noses at every blessed opportunity. If showbiz is a drug, Will Smith is a drug dealer. 
“Geez, I am so worried you’re going to get hooked on drugs! Don’t do drugs! Drugs are bad! Here, have some drugs!”
"But Daddy, I just want to play ... "
"Goddamit, you suckling idiot! Does playing bring home 600 million dollars? I don't flippin' think so!" (I don't know if he actually said 'flippin,' but I'm guessing that as a concerned parent, Will Smith frowns on the use of curse words. The man obviously has standards, you guys.)

WILL SMITH'S NOTE: What? Y'all don't get it! I love my kids! I protect my kids! I ... hang on, that's Willow's dealer on the line. "What? No flippin' way! Two million or her clothes stay on!" Huh. Now where were we . . . 

Review: All that pimping was for naught because the movie is a total piece of crap, apparently.