Tuesday, 18 June 2013

AND ON THE BAD DAYS, SHE WEARS HER MOOD PANTS

THE ODD FACT THAT I AM SMILING 
can be attributed entirely to my happy pants. 
As can the twinkling lights that appeared 
not only in this photo but all around me, 
everywhere I went, all day today. 

When it comes to clothes, I’m not usually a bright-colours kind of girl. Black tends to be the colour I gravitate to by default. It just feels right, probably because it’s the colour of my charred, hoary soul. 

But eventually we all have a “Shit, everything I own is in the laundry!” day and have to wear whatever's left.  Which is why I wore blindingly bright canary yellow jeans with a matching top today. 
And let me tell you, that thing they say about colour being attractive in the purest sense of the word? It’s true.

Eyes just naturally slid towards my outfit, starting with the bleary ones at the train station first thing in the morning and continuing on all day long.
Co-workers commented on how “cheerful” my outfit was.
The cashier in the cafeteria smiled and said, “I feel happy just looking at your pants!” 
“I know what you mean,” I replied. “I feel the same way every time I look at David Beckham's jeans.”
In fact, truth be told, even I felt a little perkier than usual, a little less inclined to snicker when strangers spilled coffee on themselves (better you than me!) or to hiss "Go fuck yourself!" when people said, "Have a nice day."

So basically, I'm thinking these things are magic. I'm thinking I've got to get several pairs of these suckers. I'm thinking the next time I feel like consuming an entire bottle of Grey Goose because it's Friday night and I'm haunted, I'll just put a pair of sassy pants on instead. No, wait. Not that last one.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Happiness is a pair of canary yellow pants.
MY NOTE: I did not say that. Happiness is coming home and finding your house has been broken into by clean freaks. Happiness is discovering, whoa, there's $20 left on that LCBO gift card! Happiness is ... 
EDITOR'S NOTE: I'll just take back this pair of canary yellow tights I bought myself, then.