Wednesday, 26 June 2013

CHRIS BROWN RECRUITS GOD HIMSELF IN LEGAL BATTLE

THIS SOMBRE IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD SHOWS ... 
Wait, WTF? Where's the INRI tattoo? Shoot, that ain't Jesus, that's Breezus!
Twitter
I had not realized that Chris Brown was such a devout, God-fearing young man. I mean, I was aware that he believes in his woman-beating mind that he is a lot like Jesus Christ (see his beautiful mouth-painted portrait of Christ our Lord dying for our sins, just like Breezy). Because obviously, they both have a six-pack and the mere fact that Christ never beat the shit out of his girlfriends (that we know of; stuff gets covered up all the time, you guys) does not mean that Breezy isn’t Jeezy reincarnated.  

But then today I read that after being charged with a hit-and-run on Tuesday, Breezy turned directly to the Bible to reflect upon his earthly struggles. Well, actually, he turned directly to Twitter first. But right after that he turned to the Bible and posted  a photo of the car he allegedly hit, which shows no apparent damage. 

"Just a dirty car," Brown tweeted. "Once again, I gotta clear my name. ... I don't have all the answers and you can't show me a person that age who has it figured out. We live and grow. Let me live." (Er, wait, was that Paula Deen’s tweet? It’s getting harder and harder to tell these nutters apart.)

Chris ended his Twitter vespers by pointing to Verse 2, the Corinthians 12:10, which states: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Crap, Amen.