Sunday, 2 June 2013


JENNIFER LOPEZ APPEARS TO BE UNDERGOING a very painful sliver removal here during her live performance on Britain's Got Talent. Britain may indeed have talent but it also has very delicate sensibilities, as the backlash to this performance proves.

Britain is being very mean to Jennifer Lopez about her "risque" performance on Britain's Got Talent and it has totally caught her off-guard. Although her crotch-guard certainly wasn't caught off-guard. That thing was secured with industrial grade rubber cement and it wasn't showing a thing! This, however, was not enough to appease the very proper Brits, who immediately began tweeting that it was "like watching porn" and telling J Lo "to cover up her bits." 

In other words, British people clearly don't realize that J Lo is famous for her butt and not much else (except maybe her barely legal boyfriend, but he couldn't make an appearance because it was past his bedtime). So if you're going to have her on a show called "Britain's Got Talent," you're going to see her talent. There is really no need to launch a Twitter offensive of this magnitude, people. You're going to hurt J Lo's butt's feelings.

J LO'S BUTT'S NOTE: The head that is attached to the rest of my body went on live radio to defend the performance. Please read its comments and then you may resume staring at me.