Tuesday, 4 June 2013


THIS PICTURE OF A TACO BELL EMPLOYEE making out with a stack of shells appeared on the company's Facebook page. If you own Taco Bell stock, now would be a good time to sell. 
Yeah, so I'm pretty much not ever going to eat at Taco Bell again. As in "never." As in if Earth were scorched by a nuclear bomb delivered to us disguised as a kimchee platter by Kim Yong-Un and there was nothing left to eat but radioactive dirt and Taco Bell, I would eat the dirt.

As in if you folded every one of my exes into a great big hoagie and let Michael Douglas slide the whole thing in his mouth in an explicit mimicking of a sex act and then offered me a choice between that and Taco Bell, I would eat the hoagie. 

And here is why. That picture, above, is just one of several that have made their way into the public eye lately, showing employees of YUM! Brands Corp (which also owns KFC and Pizza Hut) doing things to Taco Bell food that make its dog-food-in-a-pouch even more repulsive than it is in its unmolested state. 

And I am fully aware that similar antics may happen at other fast food outlets (check out this KFC staffer risking throat  cancer with the mashed potatoes), but the thought that Taco Bell staffers hate their place of employment enough to post this on the company's official Facebook page hints at a level of food abuse I can scarcely bear to imagine.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Oh, I don't know. I hear the Saliva Tuesday special comes with that really orange fake cheese syrup that I love.
MY NOTE: Excellent. I'll give you Wednesdays off so you can puke yourself into a coma on your own time.