Monday, 10 June 2013

THE IDIOT FILES PART WUN: GRAMMER AND SHIT

RAPPER 2 CHAINZ You know, I used to think he spelled his name this way to be cute. 
Now I'm wondering if he actually thinks this is how you spell "chains." 
Photo/Wealth Rangers

"Welcome, class. I'm glad to see you're all on time and have combed your hair and washed your pimples. Please take out your spelling textbooks right this goddam instant and turn to page 35, because I've just seen something that makes me realize we need to pay more attention to this shit or the next generation of leaders is going to be all like, 'Yo 'ssup bruh you got that G-8 hookup fo me or what?' So let's read that top word aloud together, shall we?"

il·lit·er·ate

/iˈlitərit/

Adjective:

Unable to read or write

Noun:

A person who is unable to read or write

 Synonyms:

Unlettered; ignorant; uneducated 

 

This, I guarantee you, is a classroom experience that rapper 2 Chainz (real name,Paddy's Pig) never had. Or if he did, he was too busy adding up how much more milk money he had to steal to buy a doobie to pay attention to it. Because he has just tweeted what I'm sure he thinks is a witty riposte to police, who say he was shot at and robbed in San Francisco on Sunday.  

TMZ says 2 Chainz hotly denies the police report bytweeting three rules that prove their story is false.And let me tell you, the man must have someone ghost-writing his lyrics because he can't tweet his way out of a paper dimebag.

According to Chainz:

"Rule #1 if a rapper gets robbed people usually post items that has been taken. Rings, chains, watch, money etc."

"Rule #2 if a rapper gets shot he usually go to hospital or dies."  

"Rule #3 we definitely got geeked up in San Fran, best smoke in the world. 2 blessed 2 stress." 

EDITOR'S NOTE: On the bright side, I see that he is able to count to three.
MY NOT
E: Actually, I'm told this list originally had 11 rules but Chainz got hopelessly confused when his fingers ran out.