Saturday, 1 June 2013

WILL SMITH'S SON IS ABOUT TO BE EATEN ALIVE

THE BAIT: KYLIE JENNER, 15
Kylie already has a very active 
Twitter account and a boyfriend. 
This pleases Mother: "Mwuhahaha!  
We'll be turning those thighs 
into dollars in no time!"
THE VICTIM: JADEN SMITH, 14
 "Um, I just thought she was pretty. 
Now her mom keeps 
asking me if I'm 'ready' yet. 
What does that even mean?"



Not only is poor Jaden Smith being forcibly introduced to “drugs” by his dad, Will Smith, but he has also been sucked into the vortex of one of the industry’s biggest pushers: Kris Jenner. Jaden is besties with Kylie Jenner, whose parents, unlike Jaden’s, are not the least bit conflicted about whoring themselves out to the highest bidder. The two are "pretty inseparable," he says.

Aw, that's cute. Heheheh *looks around furtively, grabs Jaden's arm with pincers-like grip* Psst! Jaden! Take a look at Kris and Bruce Jenner. Mostly Bruce. The man's testicles lie pickled in a jar on Kris's nightside table. Which is not even in the same house as Bruce's nightside table! Get out! Get out now! Get out while you still can!


EDITOR'S NOTE: "Pretty inseparable"? What are they, like 12 and 13? Gross.
MY NOTE: Oh no, no, they're way older than that. He's 14 and she's 15. Practically old enough to make her first sex tape!