|LET'S IGNORE THE FACT THAT I AM USING A STICK to lift the broken lid of a broken gas barbecue I now use as a coal barbecue and focus on the fact that I'm about to cook enough food for five people and then wonder why I can't lose weight.|
It didn't happen last year and it won't happen this year, but of course I will expend countless precious hours trying and then flagellating myself afterwards for my weakness. At times like this, I find it very useful to have been raised Catholic.
Anyway, I am now officially on a diet. I was going to start last night but then I barbecued chicken AND cheese-stuffed sausages, made two different kinds of rice and had Caramel 'n' Salty Peanut ice cream for dessert. And polished off a bottle of wine. Whoever's brilliant decision it was to make food delicious is an asshole. So I think I'm safe in predicting that the dress I planned on wearing last year will be sitting out yet another Caribana parade and that on Friday night I will be frantically shopping for a muu-muu.You can place bets on it if you want to. I'll be far too busy having a breakdown to be offended.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I thought it was called the Scotiabank Caribbean Carnival now.
MY NOTE: It is. But only by Scotiabank.