Wednesday, 31 July 2013

LINDSAY LOHAN IS ALL BETTER. WAIT. IZZAT VODKA?

Lindsay Lohan flees escapes leaves Cliffside Malibu Rehab Centre.
Today in child stars who grew up to be dirty boozehounds, we have Lindsay Lohan being given permission to relapse and Miley Cyrus (top right) looking for any excuse to show off her bony tits. I predict that some day, if either of them make it to age 40, these two will star together in a hillbilly movie in which Lilo plays Miley’s mother. And her sister. 

TMZ reports that Lindsay left the Cliffside Malibu Rehab Centre today after 90 days of wanting to chew her own fingers off. As you can see, her foot was barely out the door before she had a smoke lit and was mentally planning the quickest route to the booze store. And here’s something I learned from TMZ, aside from the fact that some people actually think she's all better now, and that is that Lilo has a “sober coach” to help her control unseemly impulses. Well holy fuck. They have those? I want one. I NEED one!


Editor’s note: Isn’t that what I am?

My note: Go fuck yourself, you dog-faced man-baby, and fetch me a vodka on the rocks!