Wednesday, 3 July 2013

STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME GIVE A SHIT ABOUT: PART 1

IRELAND BALDWIN. This, I get ... 
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Look, I don't make the rules, people. I don't decide who will be tall and gorgeous and who will take after their uglier parent and so will never have the career their mother/father/agent/pimp wants them to have. We're talking genetics, here. As skilled as I am at controlling my own, I have zero control over those of others. 

So don't hate me when I say, "Look, that kid is ugly and charmless and is never going to be celebrity material, so stop trying to make it un-so." 
In fact I am so tired of having non-starters rammed down my throat in a blatant "You'll see her till you love her!" campaign that I am devoting today's posts entirely to this topic. That topic being: Stop Trying to Make Me Give a Shit About (insert hyena-faced celebrity's name here).

So to begin: Fat madman Alec Baldwin has an impossibly
STEPHEN BALDWIN
in a bikini, pretty much.
Twitter

hot 6'2"17-year-old daughter named Ireland who has discovered the magical star-making powers of Twittered ass pics. And so she is rapidly becoming a Hollywood sexpot even though she’s underage and the spawn of a barely controlled lunatic


Meanwhile, the publicity machine is trying gamely to make a "thing” of her same-aged cousin, Hailey Baldwin, but it just isn’t taking. This might have absolutely nothing, or then again everything, to do with the fact that Hailey doesn’t have Kim Basinger for a mom and also has Stephen Baldwin for a dad. Nobody wants to see Stephen Baldwin in a bikini, is what’s going on here, people. So please stop trying to make me give a shit about Hailey Baldwin.