Thursday, 22 August 2013


Justin Trudeau, legalize marijuana, rob ford, whorrified,
demonstrates the stance he adopts when 
his dealer shorts him on a weed count. 
I kid, I kid. Like anyone's going to short 
a guy with abs like this.

Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying spliff about Liberal leader Justin Trudeau's "marijuana scandal?" Am I the only one who is also not surprised that he has doobied, who would in fact be more surprised if he'd said he's never touched the stuff? 

And because my esteemed shithead editor is at this very moment peeing his pants and whimpering, "They'll think you smoke pot too, you stupid, stupid woman!" let me assure you that I am not a pot smoker. I'm not an anything smoker. If I feel the urge to get absolutely shit-hammered, which I occasionally do, I resort to the delicious assortment of perfectly legal substances on offer at the LCBO. (Should you ever want to send me a gift or something.) 

My point here is not that I think weed is wonderful but rather that I don't think it's wack. Crack is wack. Meth is wack. Heroin is wack, and also will kill you at age 27. But weed? Please. Big friggin' deal.

In an age where mayors of the biggest city in Canada allegedly hit the pipe in the 'hood with known criminals, when married men running for mayor of New York get their jollies sexting pictures of their wang and interns can blow-job the president of the leader of the free world with near-impunity, a young man admitting he "had a puff" of one joint three years ago upsets me about as much as if he had admitted he sometimes looks at girlie mags. ... Hang on, has anyone asked him that? Someone should ask him that. 

I realize it's important to make trouble where there isn't any if we are to keep people interested in the news, but for the love of God. Shouldn't we be more worried about killer police and robber-baron senators? *slams empty shot glass down on editor's head with panache* There. That's settled. Editor! My hookah, please.