Thursday, 21 May 2015

KRISTEN STEWART IS PRACTICALLY AN ATTACK DOG NOW

And here is K-Stew rehearsing her thesis dissertation at the Academy of Paparazzi Bashing. (I'm sure she graduated summa cum loude.)
Perhaps because I'm one of the few people on the planet who doesn't believe in vampires (thank you, Twilight, we needed to be dumbed down even more than we already were; in fact, if our dumb gets any downer it's going to need a boob lift), I am not a fan of Kristen Stewart.

Or it could just be that I don't like surly little homewrecking sluts. Yes, come to think of it, it's probably more that one.

Regardless, a new video of Kristen cussing out the devil paparazzi has surfaced, and by golly, someone has obviously been sneaking in some classes at Kanye West Charm School. I’m going out on a limb here and suggesting she majored in “F” words and flunked basic hair hygiene. 

And because I find her annoying, I’ve also thrown in this photo of what she looked like before she was famous.
Which has obviously been Photoshopped because look, she’s smiling. K-Stew doesn’t smile. She bares her teeth. She pouts. She mopes, she hisses, she spits, she contorts her face into a bilious grimace. But smiles? Uh, no. 
Click here to watch a condensed version of the little charmer spewing good karma all over a paparazzo. (I especially love that she resents him "sharing the same air" that she does. Would that be the air you sucked in whilst heavy-breathing with a married man while simultaneously dating R-Patt? That air? I just want to be clear, here ...)