Oh fer fuck's sake. Twerking, that absurd butt dance that simply will not stop making an ass of everyone who tries it, has claimed another ill-equipped victim. Poor Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber's on-again off-again, has incorporated it into her onstage dance routine despite the visible lack of a mandatory butt and/or a sense of rhythm, and it's as painful to watch as Michelle Obama's cringe-worthy "eat yer vegetables" rap video. You know, people, sometimes it's okay to say NO to a trend.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I simply will not link to that video of Miley Cyrus twerking because I can still feel the sharp, sharp jab of her hip bones in my eyes, but I WILL link to Men at Twerk. Because hot damn, that's twerking at its finest.
MY NOTE: You need to stop saying "twerking."