Thursday, 29 August 2013

TURNING MY KID'S PREGNANCY INTO A DRINKING GAME

MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER AND I (I'm the one on the left; people can almost never tell us apart) enjoy dinner amid a sea of temporarily empty glasses at The Blackshop.
If you are reading this right now you need to start sending me some money. I'm basically doing this for free, people! My children are starving, but do you care? Honestly, I don't know how you can even look at yourself in the mirror.

Just kidding. God, I'm an asshole. Actually this is just a quick note to say I'm having a liquid dinner with my little pregnant peanut tonight. (Or rather, mine will be liquid. Sorry, kid, but I don't see why your fetus should stop me from tippling.) I am seriously loving this pregnancy thing. If I'd known having grandchildren was this much fun, I'd have had them first. So I won't have time to write much tonight, but in the meantime, please enjoy this excellent post on Death by Marmot, below, or this older story about what a slut my leg is, or this one, which reveals my innermost secrets

If I get deep enough into the sauce I'll probably post something vicious, slanderous and well-nigh incomprehensible later this evening. Here's mud in yer crotch! *Clink*