Monday, 8 August 2016

WHO LEFT BEYONCE ALONE WITH THE WEAVE CUTTERS?

Beyonce, Beyonce Instagram,
BEYONCE'S NEW MAN-FACE HAIRCUT.  
Sorry? What? We're supposed to like it? Oh bahahahahaHAAAAA!
Instagram
Hm, let me see, how to put this delicately? Beyonce's new haircut is ... er ... Beyonce cut her hair and it looks, ehm ... Beyonce ... OH FUCK IT!  Beyonce was clearly either far more traumatized by her weave's run-in with a lip-sync-hating fan or she has a case of the post-partums. Either way, she hacked her hair off and it looks like shat. Okay? Like absolute shat. Not that hair should matter in the slightest (it's not like I raved about Michelle Obama's bangs or anything) but when the entire Twitterverse masturbates itself into a frenzy because Beyonce pulled a Miley Cyrus, well, someone has to be the voice of reason. 
Oh dear God.
I am the voice of reason.

It's the end of days.

EDITOR'S NOTE: It is? But ... but ...  you never paid me for last week yet.
MY NOTE: Do you think you will need money where you're going, YOU DONKEY-FACED GOAT ARSE? (Whew. I need to calm down.) *swills moonshine straight from panties* Ahhhh. That's better.

Related: You want to see a haircut done right, Bey? I'll show you a haircut done right. SNAP!!!