Monday, 23 September 2013


the absurdity of Chris Brown saying he's 
basically the living Trayvon Martin is 
that other headline, "26 Ways to Delay Death." 
One of which, I'm guessing, would be 
to stop slagging Jay-Z in public. 
Jet Magazine, October edition 

I've been wondering when Chris Brown's soul was going to have one of its fainting spells again. Since he dumped Rihanna in typically shat-like fashion, he's been unusually silent and hasn't made any kind of meaningful effort to insult or punch or bite anyone whatsoever. It's like he's depressed or something.

But then, like a bolt from the butthole of Beelzebub, here's Chris Brown basically giving an interviewer at Jet magazine pure gold, bragging that he's on the same level of legendry as Biggie and Tupac, whining that we should all stop picking on him for almost killing Rihanna and instead focus on picking on Jay-Z because he's a knife-wielding crack dealer, and, wait for it, saying he totally identifies with Trayvon Martin because they both endured "blatant racism." 

Except, of course, that Chris Brown lived to tell about it and also to cope with his feelings of persecution by beating the living snot out of Rihanna. And then moving on to bang hot chicks the world over and brag about it via Instagram. I'm telling ya, if it weren't for that hoodie, George Zimmerman himself couldn't have told Trayvon and Chris Brown apart. It's just pure dumb luck that Chris wasn't walking through that housing complex that day instead of driving around rear-ending people in his custom Lambo. Or was it his Porsche? See? That's what racism has done to Chris Brown, you guys: made his life a living hell. 

It's a miracle he didn't flat out kill Rihanna while he had the chance, in fact she was asking for it by not calling him Notorious C.I.B. the way he specifically told her to. She's obviously a racist, is how the logic works here, people.