Wednesday, 25 September 2013

LAMAR ODOM DOESN'T GET THIS 'TWITTER' THING

Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom,
IF LAMAR ACTS QUICKLY and tweets hard enough, he may just get back into the Kardashians' good graces in time for Christmas. Mmmm, turkey ... it'd be worth putting up with Kris's unwanted lap dances for.

Poor Lamar Odom. His crack-addled brain is so scrambled he can't even remember who the enemy is anymore. He's practically got amnesia. So I'm going to give him a bit of a pass for not having a goddam clue how Twitter works. Basically, dude, it's 140 characters or less. Nuggets, we're lookin' for here. Tidbits. Gems. Just because you're rich doesn't mean you get to buy more letters. It's Twitter, not Wheel of Fortune.

Yet
here's poor Lammie rambling on at tedious length about how none of this drug business is his fault because he had a bad dad, while simultaneously kissing up to the Kardashian Klan he ran from in terror just weeks ago. That's like breaking back in to Alcatraz. 
For your edification and amusement, I present these un-tweets from Lamar. (I suggested we call them "twats" but my peen-for-brains editor thought that was rude. *crosses eyes, makes jerking off motions*) I'm sure the fact that Khloe yanked him off the credit teat just two weeks ago has nothing to do with this.

"Won't continue 2 speak on this but I have got 2 let this out real quick. I have let this man and many others get away with a lot of shit. He wasn't there 2 raise me. He was absent ALL of my life due to his own demons. My mother and grandmother raised me. Queens raised me.
For the first time since they left, came a blessing of a FAMILY that I married into. FAMILY. That man wasn't even invited to my wedding. He has never met my mother in law and some of my other family. How can a man who has NOT once called me to check on my well being have the nerve to talk so recklessly about his own "son". He is my downfall! His own demons may be the ONLY thing he gave 2 me.
He disrespecting the ONLY FAMILY that has loved me without expecting anything in return. They are the ONLY ones that have been here consistently 4 me during this dark time. Only person 2 blame is myself. Say what you want about me but leave the ones who have done nothing but protect and love me out of this! This goes to out to everyone!"
Twitter@RealLamarOdom
EDITOR'S NOTE: What this guy could use is an editor. 
MY NOTE: I know exactly where to find one.