Tuesday, 3 September 2013

MELANIE GRIFFITH CAN'T BELIEVE HER KID GOT A JOB

TMZ PHOTOGRAPHERS TRICK MELANIE GRIFFITH 
into pausing in profile so that we can all wonder what happened to her boobs.
 TMZ framegrab

And here's Melanie Griffith, trying to dodge the paparazzi despite the fact that they'd completely forgotten about her until her virulently average daughter, Dakota Johnson, got cast as Anastasia the S&M sex slave in Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm sure Dakota is a perfectly lovely young lady (it's not her fault Don Johnson sired her), but I'm still not gonna watch that movie. Especially now that I know they cast this let's be honest goofy-looking dude with negative-zero animal magnetism to play Christian Grey. 

FIFTY SHADES OF GREIGE: Painfully dull Dakota Johnson and goofy-looking Charlie Hunnam will play the lead roles in the movie I've already decided to hate.

But back to Melanie. Well actually, there isn't much to say here. I really just liked the fact that I managed to freeze the screen on "blowjob face." Which is a cheap shot, I grant you, but come on. "I'm the proudest mom in the world"? Really? I thought one saved that sort of thing for "My daughter just invented penicillin!" or "My daughter won a Pulitzer!" 
Or, in my case, "My daughter looks just like me and now she's having a baby so the world is just going to keep getting more and more and more beautiful with every passing baby!"  

Click here to watch the thrilling TMZ video of Melanie Griffith, getting in a car.