One would think it would be tough for Miley Cyrus to top the agent orange-esque assault on our eyeballs that was her VMAs performance, but that'll teach you to underestimate a dang ol' hillbilly. Because she's gone and teamed up with Terry 'Perverto' Richardson, official photographer of the clinically insane, and filmed a video called Wrecking Ball. There is absolutely ZERO twerking on it, which would seem like progress until you dig a little further and find out that's because she's opted for full-on nudity instead. Sweet mother of illiterates. I can't believe I'm actually wishing there was twerking instead.
You can watch Miley's newest video here, below, but don't blame me if you have nightmares for the next two months. *"Aaarrggh! The goats! They're climbing on top of me! Why are their arses so bony? It hurts! It hurts!!!"*
BILLY RAY CYRUS'S NOTE: Gott-DANGIT! *throws hominy grits at monitor* All them twerkin' lessons and no twerkin'? That child ain't nothin but ornery!