Monday, 9 September 2013

MILEY CYRUS FILMS VIDEO, TWERKING NOT INVITED

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball, Whorrified,
MILEY'S NEW VIDEO IS ABOUT A FAILED RELATIONSHIP 
In this completely relevant scene, she swings naked on a wrecking ball just seconds before fellating a sledgehammer. (Do they give out Pulitzers for videos? They might want to start giving out Pulitzers for videos.)

One would think it would be tough for Miley Cyrus to top the agent orange-esque assault on our eyeballs that was her VMAs performance, but that'll teach you to underestimate a dang ol' hillbilly. Because she's gone and teamed up with Terry 'Perverto' Richardson, official photographer of the clinically insane, and filmed a video called Wrecking Ball. There is absolutely ZERO twerking on it, which would seem like progress until you dig a little further and find out that's because she's opted for full-on nudity instead. Sweet mother of illiterates. I can't believe I'm actually wishing there was twerking instead.
You can watch Miley's newest video here, below, but don't blame me if you have nightmares for the next two months. *"Aaarrggh! The goats! They're climbing on top of me! Why are their arses so bony? It hurts! It hurts!!!"*

BILLY RAY CYRUS'S NOTE: Gott-DANGIT! *throws hominy grits at monitor* All them twerkin' lessons and no twerkin'? That child ain't nothin but ornery!