Thursday, 12 September 2013


Anthony Weiner, Sydney Leathers,
crashed Anthony Weiner's victory party. 
Not since Octomom have we seen such 
unbridled sluttery foist itself so aggressively 
on the unwilling penis of the world.

Sydney Leathers, the not-overly-bright slut whose ass engaged in a sexting affair with Anthony Weiner's married penis, is determined to become famous even if nobody gives a shit. She showed up last night at Weiner's "victory" party (if one can call getting just 5 per cent of the mayoral vote a "victory") with her massive new udders poured into a pre-surgery-sized dress and instantly made the event about her.

Asked why she was there, Leathers said she wanted to meet the man who "manipulated" her face-to-face. "After all, I'll only be 23 once," she said. (Yeah, you know who else is only 23? Educational activist and Taliban shooting victim Malala Yousasfzai, who ... oh, sorry. She's 16. Bad example. Oh well, I'm sure she'll start sexting Bashar Assad the very second she turns 23.) 

Asked about her 15 minutes of fame, Leathers replied, "Oh it's going to last a lot longer than 15 minutes." Which I'm just going to assume means she's already made a sex tape. Nobody buys herself a set of Double Ds unless she's planning to make them pay for themselves, amirite?

Alas, she never did get to meet Weiner, because he sprinted ... that's right, sprinted ... through a nearby McDonald's to escape her, providing the icing, the cherry, the very goat-dung-hued elan this sorry debacle was lacking. Please enjoy these Vines, which capture the debasement in ways my paltry words never could. (I mean really. How many synonyms for "implants" can one come up with? I'm only one woman.)