Wednesday, 14 October 2015

TERRIFYING GERALDO IMAGE WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER

GERALDO RIVERA TWEETED THIS PIC 
last month and the world goddam nearly 
fell off its axis. And I don't know about you, 
but I don't usually wear pink sunglasses 
in the bathroom unless I'm hammered. 
I'm just saying. 
@GeraldoRivera/Twitter
Happy Saturday, one and all. Are you enjoying your  weekend? You are? Well I'm about to fix that for you. Because a "friend" just sent me this image that clearly demonstrates why Geraldo Rivera, despite his best efforts, never became a Diane Sawyer or an Anderson Cooper. One simply cannot take someone who thinks tweeting nude, geriatric selfies is a good idea seriously. 

What I love most about this pic, aside from the pigeon chest, the 1970s porn star goggles and the precariously placed towel that makes me wonder "Really? No pubes AT ALL?" is the fact that he captioned it "70 is the new 50." My dear Geraldo, no. No it is not. You should have captioned this one "Twitter is the new terrorism." Because, Jesus Christ. Do you think I can sleep now? It's like staring directly into the sun. It damn near killed me. 

EDITOR'S NOTE: I tweeted a very similar selfie once and no one noticed.
MY NOTE: Oh, that was you? I thought it was Peter Dinklage in a gay bar.