Of course, for this to be true, Chad Kroeger would have had to ... they would both have had to ... naked Avril ... tumescent Chad ... sharp, pointy teeth ... I just ... I can't.
My eyes. It burns.
I'm terribly sorry. I can't do this. Just call me when the little made-in-Canada critter is crowning and I'll deal with it as best I can.
AT LEFT: Here's Avril in your typical sk8tr maternity garb. I especially love the mesh camo sarong, the dried-blood undereye treatment and death-by-anthrax foundation. Fer chrissake out loud. You just know they're gonna name that kid Pugsley.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Well it's better than "North West."