Friday, 18 October 2013


JUSTIN BIEBER, A.K.A. THE PRIDE OF CANADA, being carried aloft into Usher's birthday party. "Yay! Berfday party!" he was heard to burble. "Will there be goodie bags?"  
It seems like just weeks ago that Justin Bieber was being slapped around on the Interwebs for that picture of him being carried up the Great Wall of China by his babysitters. Well say what you will about my favourite Canadian hillbilly, but I think he learned something from that incident. Because here he is being carried into Usher's birthday party at Bootsy Bellows nightclub by his babysitters now. Except wait, there's a difference. Can you see the difference? Here, I'll help you: well first of all, he's practically naked, obvs, so this is really more of a pilgrimmage than a carrying. It's practically a religious event.

Second, unlike the last incident, which involved two babysitters, only one babysitter was harmed in the making of this incident.

Third, stop picking on the boy! He's trying, you guys! Anyone can see that. He's having fun, he's not hurting anyone (he doesn't weigh enough to hurt anyone), he's just a wee lad, why he's barely more than a babe in diapers. Have you seen his pants? I rest my case.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Well I think he's disgusting.
MY NOTE: You're fired. 
EDITOR'S NOTE: Excellent. You'll handle Monday's court appearance on your own then?
MY NOTE: *checks planner, frowns* You didn't let me finish. I said "You're fired ... till Monday. Monday morning at 9. Sharp."