Thursday, 24 October 2013


Kim Kardashian, Kanye,
KANYE'S TASTEFUL PROPOSAL to the only woman who can match him for shopping and famewhoring hubris took place at a suitably humble venue: AT&T Park. 
There is a reason I have not reported on Kanye's over the top proposal to Kim Kardashian before now, and that reason is VOMIT. Because even I, a woman who routinely scours the bottom of the celebrity scum pond for boob shots, have my standards. But when I read the actual text of the proposal and realized the heights of megalomania to which Kanye had soared, I had to weigh in. Had to. On the strength of these words alone:
‘She’s been spending her whole check on clothes since she was 16, just like me. That’s the reason why both of us are the most influential …God has now given me another master of the social skills, my girl. She’s like the No. 1 socialite in the world.'
Whoa. Thank you, Kanye, for being the most self-aggrandizing, self-blowjobbing loon on the planet, for feeding me lines I could not, even on the most epic Hypno bender, imagine actually speaking aloud, for admitting that a soulless money-grubbing socialite was your nuptial goal, for serving America to the Taliban on a tainthole-licking platter, and most of all, for blaming this blessed union on GOD HIMSELF. Wow. Congrats on your engagement, dude. Gotta go puke now.

GOD'S NOTE: In my defence, I would just like to say that sometimes it's easier to just get out of the Kardashians' way. 
MY NOTE: I totally understand, your majesty. (cough cough "Coward!" cough cough*) But if you could at least use your powers to make this video go away, maybe America won't get bombed to smithereens by countries who already hate them for this sort of shit? I thank thee. Amen.