Wednesday, 30 October 2013


Lady Gaga, Kelly Osbourne,
KELLY OSBOURNE THREW A FIT after seeing this pic of Lady Gaga giving her mom a cake inscribed 'Happy  Birthday Kelly' during a taping of X Factor. And I'm no fan of Kelly Osbourne, but I can't help but wonder if maybe she just doesn't like cake that tastes like tits.

Not that I needed any more evidence that Kelly Osbourne is a snotty, entitled, rabid little bitch as one would expect of something that came out of Sharon Osbourne’s vagina via Ozzy's superior genetics but this latest snippet is pretty compelling. Because not only is her feud with Lady Gaga the most epically stupid feud ever, but her reaction to Gaga’s peace offering was basically to crap all over it on Twitter. 

For those of you who missed this momentous event because you were reading The Economist or even just Reader's Digest (I'm not judging; you could be reading Mayor Rob Ford's Guide to Good Eatin' Manners and it would still be a better use of your time than following Kelly Osbourne on Twitter), here is the abridged version:
Gaga got mad at Kelly for hinting that she was hiding a baby bump, Kelly got mad back at Gaga because she's Kelly Osbourne, Gaga observed the time-honoured peacemaking tradition of presenting the enemy's mother with a cake, Kelly called it a publicity stunt and told Gaga to "eat my shit."
"I meant it as a peace offering," a weary Gaga tweeted. "Happy birthday."

At which point even a poison dart frog would have the decency to back off, and miraculously, so did Kelly. She issued the following "apology" today, which, if you speak Ottysnay Entitledbay Abidray Itchbay Latin, translates roughly to: "I'm actually not sorry at all, you baby-bump-hiding hypocrite."

EDITOR'S NOTE: I particularly love that she says she’s “just not into publicity stunts.” Really? Then how do you explain your hair? Or more importantly, this? This visual that will haunt me until the end of my days?