Wednesday, 9 October 2013


OWEN WILSON needs to start 
putting a condom on that thing. 
Photo/Christopher Hays

I've always thought of Owen Wilson as someone who was blessed with comedic talents to make up for the fact that he's the weird-looking Wilson brother and because God gave him a penis nose. Turns out I was wasting my pity because holy cow, for a weird-looking penis-nosed dude he sure seems to be catnip with the ladies. 

You may recall that, just a few short years ago, he broke up Kate Hudson's marriage after she starred with him in You, Me and Dupree and then decided pretend sex wasn't enough. Well now his penis nose has become so emboldened it has impregnated his married personal trainer.  

Star Magazine reports that Caroline Lindqvist, 41, was "shocked" to learn that she's six months pregnant with Wilson’s child even though she's still married to (but separated from) a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. 
"As God is my witness, I didn't know you could get pregnant from nose sex," were probably her exact words.

EDITOR'S NOTE: OMG. Who divorces a plastic surgeon? Work it out, woman! You're 41;  he's gonna come in handy soon.