Thursday, 3 October 2013

SINEAD'S DEMONS REACH OUT TO MILEY'S DEMONS

Sinead O'Connor Miley Cyrus
SINEAD O'CONNOR TOOK A BREAK from wailing agonizing political paranoia 
and lesbian folk songs to offer succour to Miley Cyrus. (Miley: She offered 
me a sucker? What flavour?)
Leah Pritchard/Wikipedia
Since Miley’s own parents are too busy divorcing, reconciling, cooking grits, divorcing and reconciling to do their job as parents, Sinead O’Connor has decided to step in. (I did not see that one coming. Me, I would have put my money on Mama June.) 

Anyway, in an open letter to Miley whoa, risky: are we even sure Miley can read? #Bangerz Sinead advises her “in the spirit of motherliness” that her Wrecking Ball video, nude bikini, hammer licking, crotch fondling and above all, that ungodly twerking thing, are signs not that she is a musical genius but rather that she’s a little hillbilly pawn in the music industry’s game. That she is being pimped out by millionaire moguls who will abandon her in her time of inevitable mental breakdown. "Don't let them make a prostitute of you," she advises. (Too late.) “They don’t give a sh*t about you.”  

And now that I’ve mocked the shit out of her, let me just add that I happen to think that Sinead, despite being insane, is bang on in her advice to little Miss Twerk-for-Brains. Unfortunately, it will be … as all good advice to nincompoops tends to be … completely ignored. Nice try though, “Mom.”   

EDITOR'S NOTE: She didn’t even mention Miley’s groady tongue? SHE’S A TERRIBLE MOTHER! *stares directly into camera, tears picture of Billy Ray Cyrus in half*