Wednesday, 13 November 2013

ANGELINA JOLIE AS MALEFICENT? IT'S TOO PERFECT

Angelina Jolie, Maleficent, Whorrified,
ANGELINA JOLIE IS MALEFICENT
(I've always suspected it.) 
In movies, as in marriages, casting is everything. Get it wrong, and it doesn't matter how right everything else is. (Just watch John Wayne in Genghis Khan, Alanis Morissette in Dogma or Keanu Reeves in ... anything.) Get it right, and it's pure goosebumps and box office gold. 

I'm predicting goosebumps galore in the upcoming Maleficent, starring Angelina Jolie and it doesn't even matter who else.
Because in case any of you forgot, Angelina is darkly sexy, scary gorgeous and not, I suspect, particularly nice. Which, aside from me, makes her the single most perfect person in the world to play Maleficent. In fact she may actually BE Maleficent, with homewrecking, orphan-adopting Angelina Jolie just a role she plays in a movie called "Life."

Whoa. That’s too mindbending for me to take in right now. I’ll try it again later when I’m sober. Let's just watch the gorgeous trailer of the movie instead, which has been subtitled "The Loins From Whence Whorrified Came." (I see a particularly striking resemblance right around the horns area, don't you?)