Tuesday, 19 November 2013


Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Whorrified,
to never speak 'my baby mama name.' Which I'm sure the president would find much easier to do if she didn't walk around NYC with her giant udders stuffed into a see-through top.

In his ever-widening spiral into madness (I know, you thought he was already there, didn’t you? Except that he’s not; he’s still got so much further to plummet), Kanye did an interview with Philadelphia’s 107.9 FM in which he basically orders President Obama not to speak his name or that of his famewhoring porn star girlfriend. (Much as he ordered the paparazzi not to talk, ever, and that ended very well.) 

Allow me to detail the bullshittedness of it all for you, in his exact words. The Yeez was asked about that time Obama called him “a jackass” for grabbing the mic from Taylor Swift at the Grammys. Personally, I admire Obama’s restraint, but of course the Yeez thinks he should have been made vice-president or something, so he’s holding grudge. 
“I don’t care if you’re the president, I bring joy to people!” he shouted, before going on to rant about why he won’t be talking about ‘that guy in the White House’ anymore and how ‘that guy’ better not talk about him either. And then, the final jab: he banned Obama from ever speaking Kim Kardashian’s name as well, which I’m sure is going to put a huge cramp in operations at the White House.  
“So how do you think we should handle the escalating tensions in Syria, Mr. President?” 
“Hmm, well my first instinct would be to ask Kim Kardashian for advi … dammit! This is impossible!” 

EDITOR’S NOTE: I sometimes think that if they had wired Kanye’s jaw a little more permanently shut, it wouldn’t have been a bad thing. 
MY NOTE: The problem being that the wire has not been made that can hold those jaws together. They’re like donkey bones.