Thursday, 28 November 2013

KANYE'S INSANITY IS GOING TO NEED ITS OWN BLOG

A PAPARAZZO REFLECTS ON THE MEANING OF LIFE whilst locked betwixt Kanye's madman legs. (I think it's important to show the full spectrum of Ye's craziness, here. In addition to being a delusional megalomaniac, he also has violent paranoia and a persecution complex. And bi-polar crackheadism. Which I actually just made up, but it fits.)

In the hopes of preventing a debilitating RSI brought on by having to type "Kanye is nuts and here's why" a dozen times a day, I've decided to boil it down to one item: The Daily Yeezus. (It will reside up there on the right, up where I merely poke a stubby dildo in the eye of stupid people as opposed to subjecting them to full-length public rogerings.) 
There'll still be the chore of studying the quivering reams of projectile genius that spew forth from Kanye's Shakespearean lips on a daily basis, but in the end, way less work for all of us. It's practically brilliant. In fact, If I didn't know that Kanye is the only official genius on this planet, I'd think maybe it was worth a Pulitzer. 

And so to begin. Here's what Crack for Brains said today: Little North West, the admittedly adorable fruit of Kanye's unholy union with Kim Kardashian, is an actual royal. "My daughter is in a position of a level of royalty like the prince and princess in London," he told Power 105's The Breakfast Club yesterday.
And I'm about the last person you'll ever hear defending the ridiculous institution that is the British monarchy, but please, Krackye. There are rules (such as "one must be directly descended from one's own cousins"). And having a baby with a talentless, sex-taping famewhore who was still legally married to a guy who I actually think might be "special" (am I the only one who sees that in Kris Humphries?) surely breaks them.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you implying that the greatest genius since Leonardo da Vinci, maybe even Donald Trump, is a crackhead? 
MY NOTE: I'm just sayin' ... he talks some crazy shit.
CRACKHEAD'S NOTE: Uh, excuse me. If I may? I've banged nine-gram rocks with Charlie Sheen and STILL never heard anyone talk as much shite as Kanye talks. So I'll have whatever he's having. But it ain't crack.