Saturday, 16 November 2013


Rihanna, Pour it Up, Drake, Instagram,
RIHANNA, POISED TO DELIVER A GROIN JAB in a scene from her 'Pour It Up' video. And if I were Drake, I would take one look at this and consider it foreshadowing.

If I learned anything from Breaking Bad, it's that meth addicts have bad teeth. And also that chemistry is everything. Everything. Which is why I am not buying this supposed Rihanna-Drake relationship crap for a minute. 

In case you hadn't heard, Rihanna and Drake had a rebound relationship the last time Chris Brown broke up with RiRi with his fists, and it didn't last because Drake is nice. Now that nothing has changed and RiRi has learned absolutely nothing, the poor bastard is taking another stab at it. The two had dinner together after Rihanna's concert in Dallas and then "accidentally" wound up at the same strip club last night after Drake's concert in Houston. (Which couldn't have been much of an accident, because even I know that if I had to find Rihanna after midnight in any city in the world, strip clubs would be the first place I'd look.) 

The best part of this story is that the two turned it into Dirty Christmas for the strippers, showering them with a combined total of $17,000 before leaving together in the same vehicle. It's anybody's guess what happened after that, but I'm sticking with my theory that no matter what happened, it meant a whole lot more to Drake than it did to Rihanna.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Call me a fool, but I think it just might work out this time.
MY NOTE: You're a fool. 
EDITOR'S NOTE: No, I mean ... you have to say the rest of it too. *long, hopeful pause* Please?
MY NOTE: It suddenly occurs to me that in our professional relationship, I'm Rihanna and you're Drake.