Thursday, 19 December 2013


IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO BELIEVE that Phil Robertson (left, with a bunch of other rednecks) could ever make an uneducated, ill-considered remark. Or that he's a millionaire.
A&E/Zach Dilgard

Just when I was beginning to recover from the shock of learning that an ignorant lard-peddling hillbilly from the Deep South cradle of slavery is a racist, my delicate psyche has been pillaged afresh with news that the ignorant hillbilly patriarch of Duck Dynasty is a homophobe. A&E has pulled Phil Robertson off the show "indefinitely" after he went on a Bible-thumping gay-bashing tirade in GQ Magazine, saying, among other things:
"Don't be deceived; neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won't inherit the kingdom of God. Don't deceive yourself. It's not right."
Wait. What? GQ interviewed someone from Duck Dynasty? So I guess Playboy will be featuring Lena Dunham in its Christmas centrefold then? Jesus. The world doesn't even make sense anymore.

EDITOR'S NOTE: You'd think someone who looks just like Jesus would have more compassion.
MY NOTE: As someone who is very familiar with Jesus I can assure you he looks nothing like this dude. He looks like a young Johnny Depp. In fact, he may even be young Johnny Depp. It would make perfect sense.