Monday, 16 December 2013

MILEY SURE IS DULL FOR A FASCINATING PERSON

miley cyrus, barbara walters, twerking, whorrified,
YUP. THE MOST FASCINATING PERSON OF 2013, EVERYBODY 
ABC/YouTube

I realize that with the post above it's back-to-back Miley today but, hey, I'm not the one who made her the most-Googled celebrity of 2013. Some of you people had to have had something to do with that. 

Anyway, without pointing fingers at my moron Editor, let's just cut right to the fact that Miley Cyrus was on Bahbwa Wawtehs Most Fascinating People of 2013 last night as were a bunch of other "fascinating" people whose names escape me and I was bitterly disappointed to see that there was no visible butt cheek, vag, sideboob, underboob, vagboob, sidebutt ... nothing. (Although The Tongue did try to make a break for it at the 3:30 mark but was quickly lassooed back into its facehole.) 

In fact, the whole thing was pretty goddam stultifying, mostly because Miley isn't interesting with her clothes on. Although there was a somewhat touching moment when she confided she had to make a tough career choice between being "boring" or being a "slut." And if you're having trouble guessing which one she went for, here's a clue: nobody gets on Bahbwa's "fascinating people" couch by being boring. (Except, of course, Bahbwa.) Y'all just go on ahead and watch the dang ol' interview in its entirety, below, and tell me you don't feel like your brain just got twerked by a foam finger afterwards.