Friday, 6 December 2013

SO NIGELLA LAWSON DOES COKE. MORE CAKE, ANYONE?

Nigella Lawson, Charles Saatchi, Rob Ford, Whorrified,
THE BEAUTIFUL NIGELLA LAWSON has admitted 
to snorting cocaine "a handful of times," 
which I assume means she sprinkles it 
on her red velvet cake like icing sugar. 
(Memo to self: That actually sounds delicious.)
Brian Minkoff - London Pixels
 
As you may know if you read this dreck with any regularity, I came out swinging in defence of British chef Nigella Lawson because she's gorgeous, she cooks food that makes me want to take my clothes off and roll around in it and her husband is a 70-year-old wife-assaulting turd. Any court would side with me on those grounds alone, but then she had to open her mouth and admit that in fact she has snorted cocaine on a few occasions. 

And yet I still forgive her, because who wouldn't stick their face in every hard drug they could get their hands on if they had to share a marital bed with Charles Saatchi? In her defence, Nigella insists she's a mere dabbler and that her ex's story that she got high as a souffle every single goddam day is bollocks because "people who do that are a lot thinner than I am." Which I would actually love to believe except that someone would then have to explain Rob Ford.