Friday, 20 December 2013

TWERKING HAS BURNED OFF ALL OF MILEY'S BUTT FAT

Miley Cyrus, Daisy Dukes, Whorrified,
MILEY CYRUS STRUTS AROUND MIAMI 
in denim underpants.






Dear Santa: For Christmas, I'd like my eyeball virginity back. Because Miley Cyrus has just deflowered them for the eleventy-thousandth time with yet another getup that makes me wish I'd been born with the gift of blindness. 

These shrunken ass cheeks in Daisy Dukes are the reason I call her "goat arse," and while I have made a career of mocking Nicki Minaj for getting butt implants I'm now thinking that's exactly what Miley should do. (Although I notice her vagina isn't hanging out for a change so maybe she was on her way to church.) 

For your added viewing trauma pleasure I am linking to photos of other barking-mad celebrities who insist on cramming their ill-fitting arse into Daisy Dukes, defying the laws of everything. There are only a few people who can wear Daisy Dukes, people, and the line seems to begin and end with Jessica Simpson.
Lena Dunham in Daisy Dukes will make your eyes vomit.
Mischa Barton in Daisy Dukes will give your eyes a colonic.
This ballsy dad in Daisy Dukes will scar his daughter for life.
Marie Sutherland in Daisy Dukes will ... oh you did NOT just fall for that one, did you? Fools. 

Bonus Miley round: Watch the full interview with Barbara Walters in the post below.